Child Actors, Teen Stars Attempt Intervention For Fellow Celebrity

Worried that her career has veered dangerously off course, fellow celebrities have attempted an intervention for a former Wonder Years star who is publishing a book on math for teen girls.

Danica McKellar, known for playing Winnie Cooper on The Wonder Years, recently penned the tome Why Math Doesn't Suck, a guide to help Junior High School age girls with math. She's also been making appearances designed to push more girls into the sciences.

"I don't know what she's thinking," says Paris Hilton. "Couldn't she write a tell-all expose of her prison stint like a normal person?"

Fellow celebrity Lindsey Lohan agreed. "What girl has time for math, when there's rehab to go to, nannies to chase, and paparazzi to pose for?"

Aging former celebrity Todd Bridges also had issues with her behavior. "She's actually been doing real acting jobs. Where was she at when we were filming Celebrity Boxing? I didn't see her in the ring. Guess she was too busy hiding, over there filming The West Wing."

"And her hair!" said Britney Spears. "Why does she have it?"

The most disturbing aspect of her antics, according to Nicole Richie, is that she now has a physics theorem named after her--the Chayes-McKellar-Winn Theorem. "Why can't she just have a successful father named after her like everybody else?"

An intervention with trashy dresses, alcohol, drugs, and weapons is planned as soon as everyone's rehab, prison, and cable reality show schedules will allow.