Writing Jobs For Short Attention Spans

Always wanted to be a successful author, but lack the mental focus to crank out a Stephen King-sized tome?

Never fear! Mildlyamusing.com's career helper has some suggestions for how to match your fondness for Webster, the word guy, with your attention span the size of Webster, the cute kid.

• Write fortune cookies. We've been told this job has a lot of future in it.
• Write the incorrect answers for multiple choice tests. When in doubt, try "The cotton gin."
• Write plot summaries for TV guide and program directories. If Keifer Sutherland wants people to watch him kill terrorists, he's got to go through you.
• Write the descriptions of the dishes for restaurant menus. Basically you just copy the ingredients list and add some adjectives. How many synonyms for "yummy" are in your thesaurus?
• Write the happy little phrases that appear on bank receipts. Say "Have a nice day" in your own special way to all the customers of Eastern Ponkatah Valley Credit Union.
• Write movie taglines. Especially easy for sequels. "This time, it's really, really, way even more beyond personal."
• Write lists of things. Yeah, because those are really, um, they're . . .um . . . this is already long enough, isn't it?