Comedy Clubs Go Semi-Pro With Fighting

In order to exploit the recent in-club bouts between comics, clubs have decided to begin exploiting the matches for publicity.

Three of the largest comedy club chains have hired NHL commissioner Gary Bettman to oversee the melee, saying he brings just the right blend of, "Pretending to advocate restraint while pushing for no-holds-barred brawls."

The recent bouts, which began with Jon Lovitz decking Andy Dick, are not without their detractors.

"I think they're bringing in ringers," said Ray Romano. "I saw Stone Cold Steve Austin's name on a bill in Albuquerque. How do they think he's going to do comedy? Will he stand there and go, 'What? What?'"