Get Shoulder-to-Shoulder on Southwest Airlines

In a move that some consider bold, Southwest Airlines has decided to make a number of streamlining changes to its service, including elminating such amenities as seats.

"In a breakneck-paced world like ours, customers aren't concerned about the frills. They just want to get there cheap and fast," said a spokesman.

Customers will still be herded onto the plane according to check in time, but will no longer have to trouble with selecting a seat, since all seats will be gone.

"We're just going to have them all stand in one big group. We plan to pack 'em in tight enough that we don't need to worry about seat belts or anybody falling down."

What about food and water?

"We announce we're going to start our beverage service, and then we get out the squirt guns. We announce which beverage will be next, and then we just look for open mouths. We've gotten to be pretty good shots."

"Peanuts we just toss out by the handful."