Attention Toys R Us: Bring Your $90 Mil Here

Sorry we've been slow to update, but we've been busy vying for the attention of Toys Backwards R Us.

See, they're trying to decide who to give their $90 million advertising campaign to, and we're trying to get ourselves in the running.

They've narrowed it down to five companies, perhaps the most prominent of which is ours.

In trying to prepare for their visit, we've been trying to guess their selection strategy, and have decided there is only one possibility. They will resort to the same strategy everyone is using to decide who is the best fit for their job: Televised competitions only marginally related to the job in question.

So we here at mildlyamusing.com have been preparing for every possible competition scenario.

Joe Blogger is ready--he's been going nuts doing online karaoke in case this turns out to be a talent competition.

Hank has gotten all doodied up in his finest duds in case this turns out to be a romantically rooted completion.

Nostradamus is ready to go if it turns out to be a celebrity reality show, but only, as he put it, "If it involves my one and only true love, the only girl in the world, as far as I'm concerned: Jennifer Anniston. Or maybe Jennifer Love Hewitt."

We're trying to get Jarrod to read the whole Wikipedia in case it turns out to be a trivia contest, but he's not returning our emails.

And as for me?

Well, everybody around here says there's no better candidate for a makeover show. Some are saying it's the role I've been preparing for all my life.

So bring it on, Geoffrey, you big yellow pencil-neck! We're ready for whatever you've got.