Online Chat I Done Had

Watch me talk circles around this city slicker in a chat we done had:

Erik: You tried out GPS yet, Hank?
Me: Nah, I figure I'll just use a pitchfork.
Erik: A pitchfork?
Me: Sure. Near as I figure, it's as good as any electronic Gopher Perforation System.
Erik: No, Hank, a GPS. You know--for tracking.
Me: Oh, you mean Goat Poop Sawdust. I got that. Keeps people from tracking goat poop all over the place.
Erik: Look, I'm talking about GPS. For your car.
Me: Oh yeah, I got that. I got it for the pickup.
Erik: But that truck's on blocks in your yard!
Me: Yeah, and it drips oil like a greaser on a treadmill. Why else would I need a Groundwater Protection System?
Erik: You're on the cutting edge, Hank.
Me: Durn tootin'.