Boy Are My Teeth Blue

Howdy, everyone. It's Hank here, back again to chat with ya about technology and what-not. This is my first post since I got my very own brand-new, state-a-the-art laptop computer. It's this sweet little gadget called a TRS-80. Man, is she a beaut. Best twenty bucks I ever done spent. Now I just gotta figure out where the flicker is on this thing and I'll be postin' pictures as if I was "off the hook." (That's slang the kids are usin' now-a-days to mean that they won't be punished for somethin' bad they done.)

Another new development is that I've got Bluetooth. That's a medical condition what makes your choppers turn blue. I gone and seen the doc for it, but he says there ain't nothin' he can do 'bout it. He told me to just lay offa Ma's blueberry pie for awhile and it should clear up on its own. That's good, cuz I'm gettin' tired of holdin' my breath all the time so that my face'll match my teeth and I won't look so funny.

Now what I really need is some kinda technology that'll let all my devices communicate with each other wirelessly. Take, for example, my tractor. Sometimes I'm way out in the middle of the cornfield when I get real thirsty. Now if my tractor could talk to my refrigerator, I'd just push a button on the tractor and the refrigerator could come out the house and bring me a nice cool lemonade. That would be sweet! (And slightly sour, of course.)

Or maybe my alarm clock could talk to the shower and let it know that it was about to wake up ol' Hank. Then the shower could start itself up and get that water nice and warm before I get in there. And the percolator could have my coffee ready in there for me too. The possibilities are endless, I tell ya.

Well, I think I see some smoke startin' to come out the side of my laptop, so I better wrap this up quick. But if anyone knows where I can get some of them cobcasts for my corn, lemme know, won't ya? I heard them boys is tasty.