New 24 Format Announced

Producers behind the no-longer-a-hit show 24 have finally unveiled their secret "new direction" for the show--they're going to go back to Jack's early years.

No, even earlier than that.

They're taking Jack back to kindergarten.

Following a difficult season which saw their ratings fall off by millions of viewers, producers had assured viewers that the show would see dramatic shake-ups in the next season.

However, none of the rumored changes made any sense.

First, the show had to scrap early plans for the new season for economic reasons, causing fans to worry about whether Fox would pony up the money necessary to get the show back on track.

Then, they announced the show would become more eco-friendly, which fans worried would cut down on the number of high carbon-footprint explosions, which were already becoming sparse.

Next, rumors started that CTU would be dropped from the show, which would be centered in Washington--a rumor that had to be bogus, because last year's Washington plot was easily the biggest reason for the exits.

Then, in an official press release, Fox stated they were bringing back Tony Almeida, a character who was very much dead two seasons ago.

All of this left the fans confused and scared. Was was true? What wasn't? What were the people at Fox doing?

In an effort to quell the fan worry, Fox has released the spine-tingling details of their plans for the new season, which has been retitled: 24: Li'l Jack and the CTU Crew.

All of the old cast members will be back, playing their five-year-old selves using financially fiscal and environment friendly motion capture technology. With all the sets and explosions generated in the computer, the show should be produced cleaner and more cheaply.

Returning cast members include Carlos Bernard, Reiko Aylesworth, and Dennis Haysbert as the precocious Davey Palmer.

All of them live together, Muppet-babies style, in a single home overseen by Jack's father.

"We've been setting up for this for years now," said show creator Joel Surnow. "Introducing Jack's father and his mean brother--you don't think we did all that just to kill them off the same season, did you? I mean, that wouldn't make any sense."

Although details on the plot are still pretty hush-hush, insiders tell us early episodes will feature Jack and the CTU crew trying to get back a stolen Legend of Zelda cartridge containing a saved game that starts just inside Gannon's castle.

"We also wanted to add a stronger female element to the show," said producer and director Jon Cassar. "Give little girls some strong role models of liberated women. So we're bringing back Teri, Nina, Audrey, Kate, and Marilyn, and every episode, they're going to fight over Jack. Boy, is the fur gonna fly!"