Fred Thompson To Wage All-TV Campaign
After following the example of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger by announcing his candidacy for President on the Tonight Show, Fred Thompson now plans to conduct his entire campaign through TV appearances.
"It's worked for me so far," said Thompson. "And I can use it to get to every demographic. I can get on the big shows and get lots of attention in the big markets. I can even get to flyover country without having to get on a plane. It can't be too hard to get on Jerry Springer, right?"
An attorney, Thompson will start his circuit by appearing on Judge Judy, People's Court, Divorce Court, and Judge Joe Brown. In an effort to be seen as bringing people together, Thompson will argue for both parties simultaneously.
Eager to reach the fans of more serious fare, Thompson will make a guest appearance on 24, as a politician with the leadership, courage, and home-spun wisdom to actually listen to Jack Bauer.
He's not leaving out the reality show circuit. Besides prepping his singing voice for American Idol, and his toe-tapping skills to get on Dancing With The Stars, he has also been following a strict diet of ho-hos, fruit punch, and deep fried Twinkies in an effort to get on The Biggest Loser.
His campaign will continue with an appearance on TLC's Trading Spaces in which Thompson will swap redesign duties with former California Gubernatorial candidate Gary Coleman. Coleman will reportedly introduce the campaign slogan, "Willis, here's someone who knows what he's talking about."
In an effort to show his international savvy, Thompson will also appear on G4's Japanese-produced program Ninja Warrior. "By showing I can keep my grip when faced with the 'Rolling Log,' I can show I can keep my grip when faced with the pressures of office," said Thompson.
Bad Robot Productions, has also announced that Thompson will become a recurring character on Lost, playing a man trying to gain control of the island through a campaign waged entirely through the closed circuit TV cameras in the island's various stations.
"It's worked for me so far," said Thompson. "And I can use it to get to every demographic. I can get on the big shows and get lots of attention in the big markets. I can even get to flyover country without having to get on a plane. It can't be too hard to get on Jerry Springer, right?"
An attorney, Thompson will start his circuit by appearing on Judge Judy, People's Court, Divorce Court, and Judge Joe Brown. In an effort to be seen as bringing people together, Thompson will argue for both parties simultaneously.
Eager to reach the fans of more serious fare, Thompson will make a guest appearance on 24, as a politician with the leadership, courage, and home-spun wisdom to actually listen to Jack Bauer.
He's not leaving out the reality show circuit. Besides prepping his singing voice for American Idol, and his toe-tapping skills to get on Dancing With The Stars, he has also been following a strict diet of ho-hos, fruit punch, and deep fried Twinkies in an effort to get on The Biggest Loser.
His campaign will continue with an appearance on TLC's Trading Spaces in which Thompson will swap redesign duties with former California Gubernatorial candidate Gary Coleman. Coleman will reportedly introduce the campaign slogan, "Willis, here's someone who knows what he's talking about."
In an effort to show his international savvy, Thompson will also appear on G4's Japanese-produced program Ninja Warrior. "By showing I can keep my grip when faced with the 'Rolling Log,' I can show I can keep my grip when faced with the pressures of office," said Thompson.
Bad Robot Productions, has also announced that Thompson will become a recurring character on Lost, playing a man trying to gain control of the island through a campaign waged entirely through the closed circuit TV cameras in the island's various stations.
posted by Erik at 7:04 AM
Disclaimer: This is a satirical website. All content is intended as satire only.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home